fffa (![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} fffa) wrote,@ 2007-06-17 17:40:00 |
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Spiderman 3: Almost sucked.
I finally got ‘round to seeing Spiderman 3. I ended up going by my lonesome, like a Neville, because I was at Southland, and I figured if I don’t go see it now I’ll have to wait till it’s on DVD and then it wont be the same. I like to see the big comic book movies at the cinema with all the big screen, big noise shit.
To start off things didn’t go so good. First, it cost 15 bucks for the ticket. I could make my own fucking movie for that much scratch. Second, I got one of those big ass cups of coke, then spilt the whole lot after only two sips. Then I swore in front of a bunch of kids. That part was pretty cool though.
Then of course you have your four hours of ads and previews. Now I might be getting old, or whatever, but the Val Morgan ads just don’t seem to have as much punch as the old Pearl & Dean ads did. I didn’t used to mind sitting through hours of Pearl & Dean ads, but these Val Morgans just shit me. They had the Transformers preview, and I gotta say again that it looks fucking awesomely rad. I get the feeling that the story is going to be a great big pile of steamy ass vomit. But who cares. Giant transforming robots, dude! It’s funny that the spell checker thinks awesomely is a word, and I don’t.
Enough about Transformers. For now. So anyway, the movie finally starts (and I’m thirsty as hell staring at the big cola puddle in front of me) and then the opening credit sequence runs for a good five/six hours. They basically play the first two movies back to back. Fair enough they want to recap all the shit that happened before, but I got to go to work on Monday, I can’t spend all week watching the opening sequence!
Urgh! Now onto the movie. There was some cool shit in it, don’t get me wrong. They finally put Gwen Stacy on screen. Although I don’t think the girl playing her was a real blonde, and it wasn’t that kind of movie so I didn’t get to find out. The fight between Spidey and Harry Osborn was rad too. Then there was about three hours where nothing the fuck happened whatsoever. And the way the Symbiote was introduced was lamer than the whole Secret Wars thing.
Sandman was handled really well. Thomas Hayden Church, of Wings and Ned & Stacey fame, played him so good. They got the whole reluctant bad guy thing down. Then there’s Venom. Now I’ve been waiting since about ‘93 for Venom on the big screen. This was back when James Cameron was rumoured to be doing a Spidey movie. And I gotta say, they almost fucked it up. I mean, c’mon! How can you fuck up Venom? He’s only like the coolest modern Spidey villain ever. Topher Grace played Eddie Brock, and in all fairness he was pretty good. But then they go and give him fucked up fangs when he turns into Venom (not the fangs on the Venom mask, but when he’s Eddie Brock) and he couldn’t even talk properly with ‘em. Sheesh. But Venom did look pretty cool even though they did fuck with the costume design a bit. Cos you knew they would. These Hollywood fucks always gotta put their own little spin on things. Seriously, why fuck with a classic. Why dammit, why?
Some highlights were Petey P gettin’ his Saturday night fever on, the end battle, and basically all the bits where Spidey’s doing his web slangin’ thang. There was a point in the movies where I got to thinking that the writers must have had a bet to see how many different ways they could get MJ to storm out of a room, cos that’s basically all she does. And I know that a big part of Spidey’s appeal is all the everyday bullshit that goes on with him, but when that’s like three quarters of the movie it gets a bit like “okay we get it! Can we see some wall crawling now?” They seriously spent so much time fucking around with boring crap that the exposition for the final battle just seemed tacked on.
Stan Lee and Bruce Campbell had bigger roles than the previous movies. Stan stuck his big head in and dropped some wisdom on Pete and ended with “nuff said,” which was pretty rad. Excelsior! And Bruce was just great as the French waiter. That guy’s funny as hell.
Well this is probably going to be my longest post ever, and I’ve spent most of the time bagging the fuck out of poor ol’ Petey P’s movie but all in all it wasn’t that bad. Wasn’t that good either. It had a bunch of potential that it didn’t live up to. Wasn’t as good as the first or second movie either. But yeah, didn’t flat out suck. Almost sucked though.
I finally got ‘round to seeing Spiderman 3. I ended up going by my lonesome, like a Neville, because I was at Southland, and I figured if I don’t go see it now I’ll have to wait till it’s on DVD and then it wont be the same. I like to see the big comic book movies at the cinema with all the big screen, big noise shit.
To start off things didn’t go so good. First, it cost 15 bucks for the ticket. I could make my own fucking movie for that much scratch. Second, I got one of those big ass cups of coke, then spilt the whole lot after only two sips. Then I swore in front of a bunch of kids. That part was pretty cool though.
Then of course you have your four hours of ads and previews. Now I might be getting old, or whatever, but the Val Morgan ads just don’t seem to have as much punch as the old Pearl & Dean ads did. I didn’t used to mind sitting through hours of Pearl & Dean ads, but these Val Morgans just shit me. They had the Transformers preview, and I gotta say again that it looks fucking awesomely rad. I get the feeling that the story is going to be a great big pile of steamy ass vomit. But who cares. Giant transforming robots, dude! It’s funny that the spell checker thinks awesomely is a word, and I don’t.
Enough about Transformers. For now. So anyway, the movie finally starts (and I’m thirsty as hell staring at the big cola puddle in front of me) and then the opening credit sequence runs for a good five/six hours. They basically play the first two movies back to back. Fair enough they want to recap all the shit that happened before, but I got to go to work on Monday, I can’t spend all week watching the opening sequence!
Urgh! Now onto the movie. There was some cool shit in it, don’t get me wrong. They finally put Gwen Stacy on screen. Although I don’t think the girl playing her was a real blonde, and it wasn’t that kind of movie so I didn’t get to find out. The fight between Spidey and Harry Osborn was rad too. Then there was about three hours where nothing the fuck happened whatsoever. And the way the Symbiote was introduced was lamer than the whole Secret Wars thing.
Sandman was handled really well. Thomas Hayden Church, of Wings and Ned & Stacey fame, played him so good. They got the whole reluctant bad guy thing down. Then there’s Venom. Now I’ve been waiting since about ‘93 for Venom on the big screen. This was back when James Cameron was rumoured to be doing a Spidey movie. And I gotta say, they almost fucked it up. I mean, c’mon! How can you fuck up Venom? He’s only like the coolest modern Spidey villain ever. Topher Grace played Eddie Brock, and in all fairness he was pretty good. But then they go and give him fucked up fangs when he turns into Venom (not the fangs on the Venom mask, but when he’s Eddie Brock) and he couldn’t even talk properly with ‘em. Sheesh. But Venom did look pretty cool even though they did fuck with the costume design a bit. Cos you knew they would. These Hollywood fucks always gotta put their own little spin on things. Seriously, why fuck with a classic. Why dammit, why?
Some highlights were Petey P gettin’ his Saturday night fever on, the end battle, and basically all the bits where Spidey’s doing his web slangin’ thang. There was a point in the movies where I got to thinking that the writers must have had a bet to see how many different ways they could get MJ to storm out of a room, cos that’s basically all she does. And I know that a big part of Spidey’s appeal is all the everyday bullshit that goes on with him, but when that’s like three quarters of the movie it gets a bit like “okay we get it! Can we see some wall crawling now?” They seriously spent so much time fucking around with boring crap that the exposition for the final battle just seemed tacked on.
Stan Lee and Bruce Campbell had bigger roles than the previous movies. Stan stuck his big head in and dropped some wisdom on Pete and ended with “nuff said,” which was pretty rad. Excelsior! And Bruce was just great as the French waiter. That guy’s funny as hell.
Well this is probably going to be my longest post ever, and I’ve spent most of the time bagging the fuck out of poor ol’ Petey P’s movie but all in all it wasn’t that bad. Wasn’t that good either. It had a bunch of potential that it didn’t live up to. Wasn’t as good as the first or second movie either. But yeah, didn’t flat out suck. Almost sucked though.
