fffa (![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} fffa) wrote,@ 2008-03-06 20:49:00 |
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I FOUND MY NUTS!
For some reason I can’t seem to walk past a crappy knock-off toy and not buy it. Especially if that toy happens to be a knock-off of one of my favourite comic book characters, Wolverine.
By now everybody should be familiar with good ‘ol Wolvie. He’s been kicking ass and causing radness since the mighty Len Wein unleashed him on an unsuspecting world in the pages of Incredible Hulk #180 in October 1974.
This toy isn’t based on the super-fuckin’-rad comic book Wolvmeister but on the plain-old-rad movie version. Still with me? Righty-O, let’s take a butchers.
The box looks pretty slick, except it says “it is smart” no less than fifty eight times. It’s got some pics from the movie on it, and some text that I’m pretty sure is on the back of the DVD explaining who the X-Men are. But you can already see the toy inside that clever box aint quite right.
Eeewww. That tricksy box claimed it was smart, but it’s not. It’s pretty fuckin’ stupid. It’s made of this hard plastic and it’s hollow which makes it really light for it’s size, it’s real big, peoples . Though I gotta give it props for being able to stand up by itself. I really didn’t think it could. Toys always get extra points if the can stand up under their own power. It’s true. Google it.
Fuck if that isn’t a face only a mother could love. Looks like Jonathan Harris and Fred Schneiders gay retarded love child. What I think really happened is some enterprising huckster had the mould for an old wolf-man figure and thought it looked close enough to Wolvie to try and gouge some hard earned cash out of suckers like me. Hey it worked, more power them, but fuck it’s ugly. It scares me.
Ok so they forgot his claws but it’s not like that’s Wolvie’s trade mark or anything. You can tell the people who made this are real fans and put in a great deal of effort into staying true to the character because they included Wolverine’s blinding cock laser. I don’t know why they decided to put a bright red light in the toys crotchal area but they did, and I’m glad they did.
So it’s a shitty toy made from shitty material and has basically nothing to do with the character it’s claiming to be, but it can stand up by itself and it can shoot lasers out of it’s dick. I can only do one of those two things.
That’s all I got. Oh by the way my new favourite word is ‘ENDOSPERM’. I’ve no idea what it means but it makes me giggle.
For some reason I can’t seem to walk past a crappy knock-off toy and not buy it. Especially if that toy happens to be a knock-off of one of my favourite comic book characters, Wolverine.
By now everybody should be familiar with good ‘ol Wolvie. He’s been kicking ass and causing radness since the mighty Len Wein unleashed him on an unsuspecting world in the pages of Incredible Hulk #180 in October 1974.
This toy isn’t based on the super-fuckin’-rad comic book Wolvmeister but on the plain-old-rad movie version. Still with me? Righty-O, let’s take a butchers.
The box looks pretty slick, except it says “it is smart” no less than fifty eight times. It’s got some pics from the movie on it, and some text that I’m pretty sure is on the back of the DVD explaining who the X-Men are. But you can already see the toy inside that clever box aint quite right.
Eeewww. That tricksy box claimed it was smart, but it’s not. It’s pretty fuckin’ stupid. It’s made of this hard plastic and it’s hollow which makes it really light for it’s size, it’s real big, peoples . Though I gotta give it props for being able to stand up by itself. I really didn’t think it could. Toys always get extra points if the can stand up under their own power. It’s true. Google it.
Fuck if that isn’t a face only a mother could love. Looks like Jonathan Harris and Fred Schneiders gay retarded love child. What I think really happened is some enterprising huckster had the mould for an old wolf-man figure and thought it looked close enough to Wolvie to try and gouge some hard earned cash out of suckers like me. Hey it worked, more power them, but fuck it’s ugly. It scares me.
Ok so they forgot his claws but it’s not like that’s Wolvie’s trade mark or anything. You can tell the people who made this are real fans and put in a great deal of effort into staying true to the character because they included Wolverine’s blinding cock laser. I don’t know why they decided to put a bright red light in the toys crotchal area but they did, and I’m glad they did.
So it’s a shitty toy made from shitty material and has basically nothing to do with the character it’s claiming to be, but it can stand up by itself and it can shoot lasers out of it’s dick. I can only do one of those two things.
That’s all I got. Oh by the way my new favourite word is ‘ENDOSPERM’. I’ve no idea what it means but it makes me giggle.
